Dear Discovery Vitality

25 May, 2017

Dear Discovery Vitality,

I don’t like using the f word on social media but there is no other way today – I am FUCKING FURIOUS.

I run 5 times a week and earn discovery vitality points for fitness. I am superbly fit which is in your interests. But now I am told that I have “reached my limit” regarding points for fitness. Does this mean you only want us to exercise for half a year? WTF people? I have 30000 points to go to reach platinum but I have reached my limits fitness-wise?

I do still get my free coffee for reaching 1200 points per week for my running – woohoo, how generous! I just don’t get to drink it because I am 350 kilometres away from the nearest outlet. Bad luck that.

So now what? I know what you want me to do. You want me to rush off to doctors, dentists, pharmacists etc to be “screened” and for that you will award me big points. No thank you. I only go to doctors if I am sick – and if you glance at my records you will see that happens very seldom, again in your interests. I certainly do not need people squeezing my boobs between sheets of metal or inserting cameras up my bum, or anywhere else for that matter.

Yours in fitness,

An Extremely Disgruntled But Healthy Person

PS  You need to update your health questionnaire and your take on cholesterol – low fat is so last season, and just plain unhealthy. Have you not learnt anything from the “Noakes Trial”?


Share this post