I just may be finding wisdom in my 67th orbit around the sun - crazy huh? Why does it take so long? Why could I not have had wisdom when my body was strong and unwrinkled? It would have saved so much bleeding from the eyeballs.
Let me start from the beginning as I have been MIA on this blog for a while, struggling to “Run Happy”.
I started running in my forties, did my first marathon at 50 and decided that I wanted to just “Run Happy” into my eighties and that this blog would chronicle my endeavours and discoveries.
And then there was Covid, and, just when we were over that insane era, I got clots in my lungs and, three months later, a pacemaker. I don’t know whether I actually had Covid but I did have the vaccine so that I can travel.
I was determined that I would not stop running but I went from being a slow runner to an extremely slow runner who needed very frequent walk breaks and could not run up any hill.
Then, after two years of struggling with this, I decided that I had to prove to myself (and to anyone else that gave a shit) that I could still do the marathon distance. I did it but it wasn’t pretty.
Then I decided that I would do a half marathon every month and build up to the marathon again.
I have now done four half marathons in four months, none of them pretty either.
In my quest to find out why I felt so useless I saw a pulmonologist - probably hoping for a lung transplant, only to be told that I have early-stage emphysema. Well I have struggled with every lung disease known to man (except cancer, thanks be) since I was eight years old, so weak lungs is nothing new.
Then suddenly BAM wisdom hit me! I know my offspring are thinking “hang on how often have we told her this?”
I did a hilly 10 km race this last Sunday and I ENJOYED it. Still slow but there were masses of people behind me and it wasn’t worrying them. So now I will enter only 10km races until my lungs get stronger (they’d better get with the program) and I will thoroughly ENJOY myself. I think I may once again “Run Happy”.
Another thing that this new-found wisdom has taught me is that so much of my problem is mental. Yes, yes, I know….I’m bloody mental!
Seriously, a lot of the time needing to slow to a walk is through sheer fear-based anxiety which causes heart palpitations. There is nothing wrong heart-wise - I see my cardiologist regularly. It’s just my brain is trying to protect me. The brain is a cunning fox and will tell you to pull back long before it’s actually necessary. The trick is to very slowly up the ante until you can persuade the brain that everything is actually okay.
So now it’s LowlyJ vs The Brain but only over short distances with spinning, strength work, yoga and Pilates thrown in. Sounds good - and I’ll “Run Happy”.