I Don’t Know How To Title This

25 April, 2019

Should it be “Camping with Lions”, “Washing in a Bucket”, or “How to Poo In The Veld”? Or maybe “You Can’t Part Me From My Hairdryer”?

We’re off to the Central Kalahari this weekend where apparently there is a COMPLETE lack of civilisation. I cannot lie – I am scared. More scared than I was for my 50-miler on trail, more scared than I was for the climb-out-of-hell stage race that was Three Cranes.

Apparently lions can breathe on your tent and snakes and scorpions love the warmth of a sleeping bag. WTF? They should get their own sleeping bags. But the worst thing (apart from the toilet problem) is that I am going to be WITHOUT A HAIR DRYER.

How am I going to face those lions with their beautiful fluffy manes as I skulk past in my beanie? They obviously have some enormous solar powered salon somewhere in the bush and they aren’t going to share it with me. Hyenas are going to laugh.

And then there is the running. The only time I ever go five days without a run is when I’m sick. I have packed a skipping rope. It may come in handy for Tabata sessions when energy levels run high. It may also come in handy for garrotting wild things that snigger at my hairdo – or lack thereof.

I’m sure I will get back a tougher person. And that’s not a bad thing at all.

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